The Adventures of a Bed-Hopping Mommy

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Bet I got your attention with this one, huh?  Yep, I am a bed-hopping machine.  Often several times a night, a couple of nights a week.  Sometimes, up to three beds a night with three different members of the male species and one female!  Damn, I do get around.

Let me tell you about my bedmates.  We’ll start with the positives.  Three of them have the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen.  Three of them, think that I rock and can do no wrong.  Three of them give me the best hugs and kisses, ever.  Pretty good bedmates, huh?

All five of them have the seemingly masterful ability to drive me a teeny tiny bit crazy.  

Three of them like to sneak into my room at night and climb into my bed.   And, because it is easier than moving either one, both or all of them, I will occasionally leave him/her/them there next to the other snoring bedmate, shuffle down the hallway and hop into one of their beds.  Often, an hour or two later, one of them will come looking for me and will try to join me in whichever bed I have burrowed myself into.  Then, what do I do?  Why, I hop into the other kid’s bed, of course.

You’ve never played this game?  What?  It is super fun.  I’m sure you must be seething with jealousy.

Let me tell you a little more just to get you good and jealous if you aren’t already.  Three of them do not understand the principle of snuggling.  Instead of embracing the snuggling principle, they seem to embrace more of a thrashing approach, necessitating the bed-hopping.  Two of them are obsessed with Angry Birds and at least one of them was up at 5:30 this morning, standing next to his own bed, which was where I ended up after my last bed hop, holding my phone, with the freaking game already turned on.  Note to self:  Put the phone somewhere unreachable and maybe, stage an intervention.

The older one? Well, did I mention that he snores? Loudly. Which, by the way, he did not do prior to our marriage nor until about a year ago.  Otherwise, I might not have married him.  Kidding.  Maybe.

So last night, I was a bed-hopping maniac.  I’m a little tired today.  So tired in fact, that I put day old coffee into the microwave, loaded it with cream and sweet and low and chugged, because I needed it, like, yesterday.

Thankfully, the kiddos aren’t here! Between school, work and grandmas I am alone!  I got up with them at 5:30, but the husband is taking them because gaging by the snoring alone, he actually slept.   And because my ass is going back to sleep.

It’s okay.  You might not be jealous of the bed-hopping, but you are jealous that I am going back to sleep.  Admit it. But look at me ~ I am not fit to be around other humans right now! I can’t even keep my eyes open.

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